I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
