this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Blood and glitter go together right?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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