If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Dick very happy bro
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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