I just made out with a guy for $7.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
