Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
