bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
