We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
