I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
