If i come over, it means nothing
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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