I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
