Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Rumble strips road head = magical
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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