in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm really busy with my period
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