We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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