have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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