He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
