Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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