wakey wakey hands off snakey
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
