Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
