i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
