You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
