we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
