Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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