rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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