did you get engaged???
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
how does that bad decision feel?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
