if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
