So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
