well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
