I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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