Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
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