doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
