I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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