ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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