mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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