Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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