Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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