Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
