Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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