you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
MIDGETS
????
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
