he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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