i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
