margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize