I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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