I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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