Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
