My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
