Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize