hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
