so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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