this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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