Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
