boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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