He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
