so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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